Why I’m passionate about helping you
To tell you a little about me and why I do what I do, I have to go back a little bit. I joined the U.S. Navy at 17, and at the time I didn’t really have much going on at home, so I left about 2 days after my senior prom. While in the Navy, I had to grow up really fast being around people that were almost twice my age.
Everybody who knows anything about the military knows that you spend a lot of time away from your family. I was single with no kids, and of course I wasn’t thinking about anything but having fun. But, I really started to pick up on some of the unique challenges that people faced in relationships when they had to be away for long periods of time. And so I started really paying attention to the things they did to maintain their relationships with their wives and children.
I noticed that it created a lot of stress and of course, this is a unique situation. But when you’re on a ship, on a deployment in the middle of the water, you get to know a lot about people, their families, their children, and their lifestyles. I mean you spend more time with them than you do at home, as it is with almost any job these days. So you become like family.
I started to notice a trend that almost everyone faced, and the interesting thing is that it spilled over into people who weren’t in the military as well. I would go out to eat with some of my friends, and most people only have about 3 or 4 things at the top of their lists that they really truly worry about. They worry about their families, their children, their finances or how they are going to pay their bills, and last but certainly not least, they wanted their relationships to work out.
Needless to say people had lots of problems and so I started really paying attention to lots of my friends. I really sort of opened up my ears when I was anywhere; at restaurants, bars, clubs, concerts, and of course at work, at church and anywhere else I could give an ear to listen. And everyone, I mean everyone always asked the same questions. Why do relationships have to be so hard? Why can’t people be honest? Are there any good people left? I had no idea that I’d be writing and publishing a book or releasing an article every week about this stuff, but I’ll tell you what really hit home for me. And sadly to say, it was a death of one of my close friends that really brought this issue to be almost as important as breathing for me.
The Incident that changed my whole outlook on life
A friend of mine was having ongoing relationship problems with his wife, and to make a long story short, while he was deployed, she had gotten involved with another guy. When we got back from deployment, he went home, and there was a fierce confrontation with the guy his wife was seeing. Things had fallen apart and simply spiraled out of control over time (I knew because he used to confide in me about some of those things). His wife no longer wanted to be with him, and she’d told him she wanted a divorce, and then the unthinkable happened. The boyfriend was actually in the house when he got home one day, and during the confrontation, the boyfriend shot and killed him. That day I learned that relationships truly can be the death of a person, and they can truly take a toll on your life either in a negative, or a positive way. I won’t go over the other stories I’ve witnessed except to say that two other people I knew actually jumped off one of the top stories of their ship on two separate unrelated incidents due to relationship problems with their spouses. In both cases, the husband of one and the wife of the other had filed for divorce for different reasons.
So from that day forward, I made sure that whatever advice I gave, it would be something that would affect the people I spoke to in a positive way. I didn’t want anyone else to experience what my friend went through that day, nor the other two people who literally tried to end their stress by trying to take their own life (they lived), all resulting from a stressful relationship.
Although I didn’t say this previously, lots of people used to confide in me about things that would go on in their relationships. I suppose I looked trustworthy and I was discreet about keeping our discussions private. After that confrontation and my friend’s untimely death, I started taking notepads to every single “session” I had when people confided in me (with their permission of course). I never intended to turn that info into a book or anything like that. And eventually over time, I ended up accumulating several notepads with personal notes written about different relationships, and I kept all that private. I would go back and read them every now and then and I had gotten the idea that I could avoid some of those pitfalls where everyone else may have fallen, which to my surprise did not work as well as I’d thought.
I learned that everyone was different, and I still had to experience relationships and the things we all have to put up with for myself. I did start to notice patterns in almost every situation that was the same for men and women. Fast forward several years later, I departed active duty, and pursued my college degree. I was in the engineering Technology field (mostly electrical and electronic work). One month after leaving active duty, I was actively online dating, and dating heavily in person too. But I was really deeply involved with the online dating scene. It gave me a unique perspective on what did and did not work in that particular area.
I had been partying all over the world, dating and observing all my older friends’ marriages and relationships from afar for about 8 years. One month after I moved back home from Virginia to Texas, I met my current wife and we’ve been together every since, gotten married and had kids. All these things together gave me the background to write my first book, and because of that horrific incident with the death of my friend, it is a personal passion of mine to try and help people start off relationships right, or rebuild their current relationship. I didn’t even mention the effect those breakups had on the children. That’s a whole other story (which I might tell in another blog later).
Of course after my wife and I had been together for a while we had a couple children. Once my daughter became a teenager, it even became clearer that the way you start setting boundaries and other concepts at the onset in a relationship are so important to your overall happiness and ability to live a less stressful life, and have a great relationship.
These situations really put me in so many different scenarios and before I knew it I really had a lot of material I could use to help people from all the notes, data, and experiences I had to endure.
The moment it happened for me
I started working for a reputable oil and gas company, and the work had me flying offshore a lot, being away from my family a lot. Remember earlier I mentioned when you work somewhere for a long period of time, your coworkers become like second family at times. I got to know lots of people in the industry, and of course, we all started talking about relationships. I still would grab a notepad just out of habit and write down everything we would talk about. And it didn’t matter whether it was a man or woman, no matter where they came from or what type of lifestyle they lived, their relationships were a huge part of their lives, and they either complained about the same things, or made the same mistakes.
Just learned more about Mario Rivers, a Relationship and Life Coach, Author, Podcaster, Blogger, and Speaker! Check it out!
One day I had gotten the call that I would be deploying to a rig in a few days. The night before I was supposed to go to the rig, I couldn’t sleep for some reason. I ended up going into my garage to look for something I can’t remember now. But I came across that box with all those notepads. Somehow I had kept it with me when I moved from one place to the next. (Looking back I truly don’t know how those didn’t get thrown away.)
Anyway, I started reading those notepads one by one, and I pulled out my laptop and started writing. The rest is history. The funny thing is that I had so much material that first night I wrote, I already had an outline, and several “chapters” written. I finished the entire book in about 7 days. Even at that point I never intended to write a book or publish all these articles I’ve written to help you win in relationships. I actually sat on the manuscript for two years and never even published it because I had this mountain of fear and excuses about failure and doubt and I didn’t think anyone would listen to some guy from Houston who was just another person living life just like everyone else.
The shocking email I received that sealed the deal
I sent out snippets of the book by email to a few people, and after they pushed and commented, I actually faced all my fears, published the book, started a blog, and recorded a podcast. I was passionate about the topic, but I still didn’t fully get how what I was doing was helping people. Then I received an email from someone who had somehow heard about the book and the articles I write from a friend, and she joined my email list. She emailed me eventually and told me a little of her story, and what she wrote next sealed the deal for me. I was hooked on helping people win in relationships after that. We went back and forth and I counseled her some, and I’ll share a little of what she wrote (we had a few conversations before this).
Good morning, I hope all is well! I have not started your course; however, you have forever impacted my life. Thank you for being a puzzle piece in my life. I am a woman of worth and I am focused on my mission of becoming and maintaining as a Proverbs:31 woman! I am peeking interest in a new man. So I am going for the goal. I will keep you posted. In the meantime, continue to empower women and help us identify the Queen in us! Blessings for you and your family in abundance!!!”
Messages like this are the reason I do what I do. I’m dedicated to helping you win and I’m positive that you can get there with my Relationship Bootcamp Signature Course.
It is also why I write books to help people out along their journey. If you're interested in learning more about how you can build something new starting out fresh, or how to continue thriving with what you have, check out my book, The Truth: Keeping it 100, The Blueprint to Relationships. Click Here.
The book lays out a blueprint and guide in different areas you should inspect.
Here is an overview of what the book discusses.
- The Introduction and Prelude to Relationships– lays out the groundwork and different types of people there are. If you can recognize what type you are, you’ll be able to make a better selection, and maybe work on areas you might not be so strong in.
- The Basics- basically about being a gentleman, and if you're a lady, having some class.
- The Good Man- probably the most insightful chapter. This reveals the truth about a good man, what to expect, and how to deal with him.
- The Strong Woman, Baggage Claim, Sex and Intimacy, Confidence and Attitude, and much more!
This book covers a lot of information form how you start out, what to expect, to learning how to move forward in a relationship and recognize when you're bringing past hurts into your present, or maybe how to self-assess when we need to examine ourselves more. There's a lot to go over, but it's in the book. Check it out now! The Truth: Keeping it 100, The Blueprint to Relationships. Click Here.
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